God

Just a few minutes ago I stumbled upon a large cluster of Youtube videos arguing either for religion or atheism. God versus no god. I always cringe when reading the articles on these pages which are always (and so shamelessly) filled with fallacies of logic. God must exist because with out him we wouldn't have a purpose. God can't exist because science far surpasses religion. etc... All horrible arguments on both sides, the best arguments really do little else than tell why the other arguments are in fact fallacies, and do little to actually promote the side of the one arguing. I always tend to take the side of the atheists for a few rather fallacy filled reasons of my own. 1. The religious people whine too much. 2. I was raised in the Catholic Church and I guess I'm still young enough to be excited by fighting the system. 3. Scientists talk about things like black holes which are really awesome. One of my favorite quotes of all time is by known atheist Carl Sagan. The quote neither refutes nor promotes religion. It is a simple criticism of what I think is one of organized religions greatest weaknesses.

"In some respects, science has far surpassed religion in delivering awe. How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, "This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed"? Instead they say, "No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.""

Now I neither believe and don't believe in God at this point in my life and while I writhe in discomfort at the term agnosticism, I guess I technically fall into that category. The term itself seems so final though. Its like picking a side and I do not, nor probably ever know enough to pick a side. The problem with organized religion (which at this point in history has numerous times had to eat its own words and still come out on top) is it is final. It is concrete. Call me a cop-out or a coward but I can't handle the concrete. If there is a God in the sense most religious men and women seem to promote, then I anxiously await my stay in purgatory where hopefully the questions of the universe will be answered. If there is no God then I suppose I will rot and it won't really matter. At this point I secretly (and despairingly) believe that whatever force did create this universe (and I do believe the universe was created by some force we don't know about) is not something that will ever be allowed to comprehend or able to. Why would the force that created us have left us an afterlife? What is the nature of our beings? Is any of this real? At a realistic level do I even care? Probably not. As long as I am living this comfortable life that I live I am content not knowing the secrets of the universe (ish). To be honest all of it really bothers me.

The closest I have ever been to killing myself (which has admittedly never been very close) is to find out what happens in death. How can some people stand not knowing. Death would either answer the questions of the universe or end the desire for such knowledge. Hell would be a mental consciousness forever after death where none of our questions are ever answered I think. Heaven would be knowing what created us. I guess religion really is heaven on earth if it gives us answers to those questions. I don't really think it matters if the answers are scientific facts or not. Perception is always greater than reality and ideas are defined by the purpose they fulfill. If someone believes in a god I cannot prove them wrong. In a certain sense that makes them right because God fills whatever gap in their lives they put him in and that is what God is for. God fulfills the purposes people assign him (scientifically real or not) which makes him just as real as anything he could ever be. I think.