and again

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.