I want, I want.

I want to build thunderstorms out of broken clocks and fading postcards.

I want to dig tunnels with someone else's teeth.

I want every night's sounds to be recorded and played at my wedding.

I want nothing to change.

drums

I am teaching myself to play drums via youtube.

I hate.

I hate every car on the road I'm not in.

I hate every street sign telling me direction I already know.

I hate it when adults talk about how certain people have "ruined their lives because of drugs".

I hate that I still get scared.

I hate that certain things don't scare me anymore.

I hate that I haven't done anything or gotten anywhere in my life.

I hate that I can't be happy with what I have.

I hate it when I think horrible things and am not even bothered.

I hate the way I convey emotions.

I hate not being emotional and then being very emotional.

I hate the word emotional and ever bit of context that could possibly be associated with it.

I hate people like me.

I hate it when people say "you can do whatever you want in life" because you can't.

I hate the way people organize themselves.

I hate how hypocritical I have become.

I hate writing this and things like it.

I would hate myself if I never wrote this and things like it (maybe).

I hate that most of these things are lies.

I hate knowing people's names that don't know mine.

I hate thinking about how little I have ever done.

I hate being a different person.

I hate the idea of "being yourself" even though I agree with it.

I hate how dumb this sounds.

I hate that people will put more emphasis on the last line of this.

Oh Me

If I had to lose a mile 

If I had to touch feelings 

I would lose my soul 

The way I do 

I dont have to think 

I only have to do it 

The results are always perfect

 And thats old news 

Would you like to hear my voice

 Sweetened with emotion 

Invented at your birth? 

 I cant see the end of me 

My whole expanse 

I cannot see

 I formulate infinity

 And store it deep inside of me

Two days ago my grandmother broke her femur.  I will be playing "mom" for the next few days while my real mom is out of town with my grandmother.  Then my grandmother will probably be living at our house for the next month or so.  That is going to be a change of pace.

Bands I have been listening to recently (and really like):

-Elliott Smith

-Violent Femmes

-Sufjan Stevens

-The String Quartet (string covers of popular songs/bands)

Sometimes the best things in life are accidents.

Yes!

Yes!

Memorial Day

No work again today.

Books I am adding to summer reading:

-The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)

-Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

Dead Flag Blues.